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2nd Annual Whedonverse Limerick Project
by Em Dash (theemdash)
at April 1st, 2006 (05:10 pm)

current mood: geeky

Here are this year’s posting rules:

Posting Rules: Please READCollapse )

Submission Format

Each limerick should be posted in a separate comment. If you are submitting an epic (a story told through several limericks), that can be posted in one comment (or in one comment thread).

Each limerick should include the following information in the Subject Line:
Show: BtVS, AtS, Fray, FF
Universe: Crossover, RP (Real Person)
Category: Gen, Smut (het and masturbation falls under Smut), or Slash (we assume slash is probably also smut)
Spoilers: No Spoilers or Spoilers for [insert episode title or season]

Your entry should look like this (limerick by theemdash, won Buffiest Limerick 3rd Place 2004):

Subject: BtVS, Gen, No Spoilers

You may all think I’m a bit loopy
But I’m the biggest Xander groupie
In speedos he’s hot
He’s funny a lot
And he’s cutest when dancing like Snoopy.

All limericks must be posted as replies to this post.

AwardsCollapse )

Limericks should be submitted starting now! Submit your limericks until April 15. Sometime on April 16th, nominations will go up (rules for nominating will be posted then). Nominations will remain open until April 19th. Voting will go up on April 20th and remain open until April 26th. Winners will be posted sometime between April 27th and April 30th.

To recap—
Today: post limericks; limericks are accepted until April 15
Sunday, April 16: Nominate limericks
Thursday, April 20: Vote for limericks
Monday, April 30: See who won

We don’t own Buffy, Angel, Fray or Firefly, we’re just playing.

Some limericks may deal with sex or same-sex couplings. You've been warned.

Questions? Please direct all questions to this post.


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Posted by: Em Dash (theemdash)
Posted at: April 11th, 2006 04:55 pm (UTC)
AtS, Gen, "Carpe Noctem"
Buffy/Angel Angel

Carpe Noctem
Angel and an old man, they switched
So the old guy could scratch an itch.
He hit some of that,
Got tit for tat,
While old Angel could only bitch.

Posted by: Ellie Wilson (elliedragon)
Posted at: April 11th, 2006 04:56 pm (UTC)
BtVS, Gen

There once was a demon named Clem
Who was nice though perhaps a bit dim
He pissed off some badguys
So now on Spike's couch lies
This friendly dog-demon hiding from them

Posted by: Ellie Wilson (elliedragon)
Posted at: April 11th, 2006 04:58 pm (UTC)

Oh Sunnydale's Willow and Tara are said
To be bound together by a mystical thread
Their love is pure
Addictive, no cure
Lesbians, lesbians dance in my head.

Posted by: Ellie Wilson (elliedragon)
Posted at: April 11th, 2006 05:00 pm (UTC)
Angel, Gen

There once was a vamp who was broody
He sat in the dark, scowling and moody
Then Cordy had a pain
Someone being slain
Time for Angel to do his heroic duty

Posted by: Em Dash (theemdash)
Posted at: April 11th, 2006 05:06 pm (UTC)
AtS, Slash, "Smile Time"
Buffy/Angel Spike

Made of Felt
At Puppet Angel Spike had to scoff
he laughed when Angel's nose came right off.
But Angel was still strong
with parts that grew long;
made of felt, he was still good for a boff.

Posted by: leave me alone drunk Mikey Way's uncle (likealocket)
Posted at: April 12th, 2006 05:42 am (UTC)
Firefly, Gen, spoiler: Jaynestown
Firefly- Dear Diary

There's a man who was known for his gunning
And a hat that's especially cunning.
But he dropped all his loot,
Became legend to boot
While from capture, of course, he was running.

Posted by: leave me alone drunk Mikey Way's uncle (likealocket)
Posted at: April 12th, 2006 05:58 am (UTC)
Firefly, Mal/YoSafBridge, spoiler : Our Mrs. Reynolds
Firefly- Dear Diary

About bedding his new wife, and who sees
Mal was warned (and you should listen too, please):
Special place down below
Where the troublesome go,
Like the people who talk in the movies.

Posted by: VF (vampirefever)
Posted at: April 13th, 2006 09:44 am (UTC)
Ats Angel/Wes slash (Spoilers for Lineage)
Angel Wes (fiareynne)

At the End of the Line(age)

Wesley was shaken to the core,
He'd shot his father just moments before.
But instead of grief,
All he'd felt was relief.
Such proof of his wickedness was hard to ignore.

Angel was miserable and sad,
With thoughts of how he'd eaten his dad.
He'd chomped and he'd munched,
Thoroughly enjoying his lunch,
He was going to hell; he was so bad.

Into the room then wandered Spike,
Two forlorn faces turned to him, so alike.
Peaches gelled and broody,
Percy all moody.
It was enough to make a vamp take a hike.

"I can't believe you're both in such a state?
So you killed your fathers, I can relate.
Like a good little son,
I turned me old mum.
But when she wanted to snog, she got staked."

"All this misery is now getting boring,
Another second of it and I'm gonna be snoring.
While I smoke a quick fag,
I suggest that you shag.
You're both in need of a damn good coring."

As the bleached one turned and departed,
Angel shrugged and said 'let's get started'.
They quickly striped,
And whipped out their dicks.
Within seconds their bodies could not be parted.

Doing what Spike did instruct,
Angel's arse, Wesley happily fucked.
With every thrust of his hips,
His spirits did lift.
'Till he found heaven deep in Angel's butt? [*sigh* It's so romantic!]

Angel groaned with unadulterated pleasure,
Who knew Wesley's cock was such an amazing treasure.
Thoughts of his dad left in the past,
Watcher seed dripping out of his arse,
Angel whisked Wes away to enjoy at his leisure.

Returning to the office, Spike was greeted,
By evidence his suggestion had been well treated.
The smell of sex in the air,
Nasty stains on the chair.
Yep, another champion's mission successfully completed.

Posted by: g2m (g2m)
Posted at: April 13th, 2006 11:19 pm (UTC)
FF, Gen, Out of Gas

There once was a man named Jayne Cobb
Who thought Malcolm Reynolds he’d rob.
But Mal offered the hunk
Ten percent, his own bunk,
And a steady gun totin’ job.

Posted by: g2m (g2m)
Posted at: April 13th, 2006 11:22 pm (UTC)
BtVs, Gen

There once was a fellow named Xander
Whose life always seemed to meander.
A hero he’s not,
He helped Buffy a lot
But never was able to land her.

Posted by: g2m (g2m)
Posted at: April 13th, 2006 11:25 pm (UTC)
FF, Gen, Kaylee

A girl with a sweet disposition
Was seeking a brand new position.
“I’m not just a wench,
I’m good with a wrench.”
Now she fixes Serenity’s transmission.

Posted by: khassa (khassa)
Posted at: April 14th, 2006 07:37 am (UTC)
FF, Gen, No spoilers
River - arabesque

Eternal Union of Insults

There once was a Captain named Mal
Who claimed to be never a pal
Indifferent to care
Rejecting all pair
Oh why did he set eyes on this gal?

Black hair curled down to the waist
Full lips just plumped for the taste
But eyes full of scorn
And words a barbed thorn
Alas, for the Captain too chaste!

Now Inara, she showed but disdain,
“Oh, Mal,” with a toss of her mane,
“A Blundering dolt,
Arrogant to a fault,”
But harsh words spoke merely in feign?

“The Captain, a stubborn old mule,
Who asserts dictatorial rule
We never could mesh
He makes me too fresh
Oh why is he to me a jewel?”

But Mal pushed her away by thinking
A common whore hid with fine clothing
He called her a slut
But imagined the smut
And drowned his guilt in his drinking.

Packing her bags, Inara with pride
Took a layer of skin off Mal’s hide:
“I’m more than a fog!
You’re no master to dog!”
All this and much more did she chide.

Mal, for the once, did not answer in kind
Instead he looked deep in her eyes to find
He wanted her now
He needed her now
So he did what he held first in his mind.

“I love you,” he blurted, he avowed,
Then quick! Ducked his head, cowed,
With red on his neck
Fingers rub a speck
Oh why did he say that aloud?

’Nara stopped her tirade, mouth open in shock
With no longer the heart to mock.
She put out her hand
Soft touch on his tanned
Chin that she raised to talk.

But Mal, not a sound could utter
When he saw her sweet eyelashes flutter
Soft lips curled up
And Mal’s eyes like a pup
So Inara, herself, could not mutter.

Instead they joined hands together
And walked as light as a feather
Sweet bliss they had found
Harmony of sound
To last in the eternity of ever!

(“Eternity” for them meant five minutes bliss
Soon followed by insult and hiss
But no longer to hurt,
It became like dessert
That mingled alongside a kiss.)

Posted by: Em Dash (theemdash)
Posted at: April 14th, 2006 06:09 pm (UTC)
BtVS, Gen, Season 5
Buffy/Angel Pretty

Buffy On Glory
She is in no way prettier than me.
It's obvious; why can't you see?
She's got a bad 'do
And un-sensible shoes
And sometimes she stands up to pee.

Posted by: Em Dash (theemdash)
Posted at: April 14th, 2006 06:18 pm (UTC)
FF, Gen, Serenity (movie)
Firefly Wash

I Am a Leaf on the Wind
"I am a leaf on the wind,"
Wash said and wickedly grinned.
He twisted and spun
Dodged this and that gun
His piloting is wholly zen.

Posted by: Em Dash (theemdash)
Posted at: April 14th, 2006 06:20 pm (UTC)
FF, Gen, Serenity (movie)
Firefly Still Flying

Wash, watch how he soars
Though he ain't gonna do that no more
His flying was stunning
He was witty when punning
But now he's harpooned to the door

Posted by: g2m (g2m)
Posted at: April 15th, 2006 11:17 pm (UTC)

There once was a watcher so green
When demons came around he would scream.
But then he got tough’n
Became a stud muffin.
Now Wesley’s the one I esteem.

Posted by: g2m (g2m)
Posted at: April 15th, 2006 11:21 pm (UTC)

A girl in a box on a ship
Had been taken, and her mind unzipped.
But Simon was sure
He could find her a cure
And her mind he would soon decrypt

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