Here are this year’s posting rules:( Posting Rules: Please READCollapse )Submission Format Each limerick should be posted in a separate comment. If you are submitting an epic (a story told through several limericks), that can be posted in one comment (or in one comment thread). Each limerick should include the following information in the Subject Line: Show: BtVS, AtS, Fray, FFUniverse: Crossover, RP (Real Person)Category: Gen, Smut (het and masturbation falls under Smut), or Slash (we assume slash is probably also smut)Spoilers: No Spoilers or Spoilers for [insert episode title or season]Your entry should look like this (limerick by theemdash, won Buffiest Limerick 3rd Place 2004):Subject: BtVS, Gen, No SpoilersYou may all think I’m a bit loopyBut I’m the biggest Xander groupieIn speedos he’s hotHe’s funny a lotAnd he’s cutest when dancing like Snoopy.All limericks must be posted as replies to this post.( AwardsCollapse )TimelineLimericks should be submitted starting now! Submit your limericks until April 15. Sometime on April 16th, nominations will go up (rules for nominating will be posted then). Nominations will remain open until April 19th. Voting will go up on April 20th and remain open until April 26th. Winners will be posted sometime between April 27th and April 30th. To recap—Today: post limericks; limericks are accepted until April 15Sunday, April 16: Nominate limericksThursday, April 20: Vote for limericksMonday, April 30: See who won
Carpe NoctemAngel and an old man, they switchedSo the old guy could scratch an itch.He hit some of that,Got tit for tat,While old Angel could only bitch.
There once was a demon named ClemWho was nice though perhaps a bit dimHe pissed off some badguysSo now on Spike's couch liesThis friendly dog-demon hiding from them
Oh Sunnydale's Willow and Tara are saidTo be bound together by a mystical threadTheir love is pureAddictive, no cureLesbians, lesbians dance in my head.
There once was a vamp who was broodyHe sat in the dark, scowling and moodyThen Cordy had a painSomeone being slainTime for Angel to do his heroic duty
Made of FeltAt Puppet Angel Spike had to scoffhe laughed when Angel's nose came right off.But Angel was still strongwith parts that grew long;made of felt, he was still good for a boff.
There's a man who was known for his gunningAnd a hat that's especially cunning.But he dropped all his loot,Became legend to bootWhile from capture, of course, he was running.
About bedding his new wife, and who seesMal was warned (and you should listen too, please):Special place down belowWhere the troublesome go,Like the people who talk in the movies.
At the End of the Line(age)Wesley was shaken to the core,He'd shot his father just moments before.But instead of grief,All he'd felt was relief.Such proof of his wickedness was hard to ignore.Angel was miserable and sad,With thoughts of how he'd eaten his dad.He'd chomped and he'd munched,Thoroughly enjoying his lunch,He was going to hell; he was so bad.Into the room then wandered Spike,Two forlorn faces turned to him, so alike.Peaches gelled and broody,Percy all moody.It was enough to make a vamp take a hike."I can't believe you're both in such a state?So you killed your fathers, I can relate.Like a good little son,I turned me old mum.But when she wanted to snog, she got staked.""All this misery is now getting boring,Another second of it and I'm gonna be snoring.While I smoke a quick fag,I suggest that you shag.You're both in need of a damn good coring."As the bleached one turned and departed,Angel shrugged and said 'let's get started'.They quickly striped,And whipped out their dicks.Within seconds their bodies could not be parted.Doing what Spike did instruct,Angel's arse, Wesley happily fucked.With every thrust of his hips,His spirits did lift.'Till he found heaven deep in Angel's butt? [*sigh* It's so romantic!]Angel groaned with unadulterated pleasure,Who knew Wesley's cock was such an amazing treasure.Thoughts of his dad left in the past,Watcher seed dripping out of his arse,Angel whisked Wes away to enjoy at his leisure.Returning to the office, Spike was greeted,By evidence his suggestion had been well treated.The smell of sex in the air, Nasty stains on the chair.Yep, another champion's mission successfully completed.
There once was a man named Jayne CobbWho thought Malcolm Reynolds he’d rob.But Mal offered the hunkTen percent, his own bunk,And a steady gun totin’ job.
There once was a fellow named XanderWhose life always seemed to meander.A hero he’s not,He helped Buffy a lotBut never was able to land her.
A girl with a sweet dispositionWas seeking a brand new position.“I’m not just a wench,I’m good with a wrench.”Now she fixes Serenity’s transmission.
Eternal Union of InsultsThere once was a Captain named MalWho claimed to be never a palIndifferent to careRejecting all pairOh why did he set eyes on this gal?Black hair curled down to the waistFull lips just plumped for the tasteBut eyes full of scornAnd words a barbed thornAlas, for the Captain too chaste!Now Inara, she showed but disdain,“Oh, Mal,” with a toss of her mane,“A Blundering dolt,Arrogant to a fault,”But harsh words spoke merely in feign?“The Captain, a stubborn old mule,Who asserts dictatorial ruleWe never could meshHe makes me too freshOh why is he to me a jewel?”But Mal pushed her away by thinkingA common whore hid with fine clothingHe called her a slutBut imagined the smutAnd drowned his guilt in his drinking.Packing her bags, Inara with prideTook a layer of skin off Mal’s hide:“I’m more than a fog!You’re no master to dog!”All this and much more did she chide.Mal, for the once, did not answer in kindInstead he looked deep in her eyes to findHe wanted her nowHe needed her nowSo he did what he held first in his mind.“I love you,” he blurted, he avowed,Then quick! Ducked his head, cowed,With red on his neckFingers rub a speckOh why did he say that aloud?’Nara stopped her tirade, mouth open in shockWith no longer the heart to mock.She put out her handSoft touch on his tannedChin that she raised to talk.But Mal, not a sound could utterWhen he saw her sweet eyelashes flutterSoft lips curled upAnd Mal’s eyes like a pupSo Inara, herself, could not mutter.Instead they joined hands togetherAnd walked as light as a featherSweet bliss they had foundHarmony of soundTo last in the eternity of ever!(“Eternity” for them meant five minutes blissSoon followed by insult and hissBut no longer to hurt,It became like dessertThat mingled alongside a kiss.)
Buffy On GloryShe is in no way prettier than me.It's obvious; why can't you see?She's got a bad 'doAnd un-sensible shoesAnd sometimes she stands up to pee.
I Am a Leaf on the Wind"I am a leaf on the wind,"Wash said and wickedly grinned.He twisted and spunDodged this and that gunHis piloting is wholly zen.
HarpoonedWash, watch how he soarsThough he ain't gonna do that no moreHis flying was stunningHe was witty when punningBut now he's harpooned to the door
There once was a watcher so greenWhen demons came around he would scream.But then he got tough’nBecame a stud muffin.Now Wesley’s the one I esteem.
A girl in a box on a shipHad been taken, and her mind unzipped.But Simon was sureHe could find her a cureAnd her mind he would soon decrypt