Here are this year’s posting rules:1. Limericks must be related to one of the following Whedonverse creations Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Fray, or Firefly/Serenity. (I am excluding X-Men because they are not Whedon's original characters/universe.)2. Crossover, Real People: Crossing the lines between the above-mentioned shows is okay, no other crossovers. Limericks using the cast & crew are okay, also. If you write about real people, please be kind. No derogatory or smutty stuff with real people.3. Smut or Slash: Smut and slash is fine, but please remember that we like Gen limericks, too. 4. Spoiler Warnings: If your limerick includes any spoilers for any episodes, please include a spoiler warning in the subject line. If your limerick is completely spoiler free, feel free to let us know that, too. See submission format.5. Limericks must be limericks (5 lines) and follow an AABBA rhyme scheme. You do not have to follow proper scansion. (For more information on how to write a limerick, please see this article at eHow.com.)
BottleneckLook at those Reavers all reavingAnd Zoe over there peevingHacking them to bitsOne got through—oh shit!Can it be time for us to be leaving?
Kaylee's had nothing to twix her nethers.She thinks she's found a handsome fellers.But Simon's an asshat.She just wants to tap that.But he's probably off thinking 'bout the weather. - toddly
Written with grass_stainedEnchanting JayneJayne: The Hero of CantonAlways gorramin' and rantin'He’s got guns to impressIsn’t much for a dressBut in a hat he's pretty enchantin'.
Avengers Assemble!The Scoobies had a "guestage" named Andy,And a vampire briefly known as Randy;Drama queen teensMade up their crack team;No wonder dusting vamps wasn't dandy.
All About AnyaAlways ask Anya, "How's your money?"She'll never look at you funny.But to hear her screamAnd fall apart at the seamsJust show her a stuffed fluffy bunny.
An amulet that he wore A burden that he boreHe ended up in Wolfram and Hartwhere he could not departUntil he ran into a door
Pylea was her homewhere she was alonemistaken for a cowbut look at her nowshe's been put on the throne
Ah, but to ruling she's newThey want her to marry GruThe night they wedShe's to be deadThank goodness for the crew
Inara liked Malbut he thought of her as just a palshe found herself weeping when she caught Mal sleeping with another gal
Angel's name was perfectly fine,But Spike ignored it time after time. Peaches, pouf, wanker, git,Pillock, ponce, nancy, tit.When all Angel wanted him to say was 'mine'.
Insert TitleThere was a hunky Watcher named Giles,Who found dealing with Spike a great trial.The vamp annoyed him a lot,But, oh boy, was he hot.And those eyes, dear lord, how they beguiled.Spike was a vamp on a mission,He had a Watcher to beat into submission.He flirted and teased,Aggravated and pleased.Not long now before he had him in position.Giles was completely confused,How had this happened? He silently mused.A fight, a kiss and a touch,Then a hand on his crotchNow he lay in bed, happy, sweaty and used.Spike cuddled the Watcher and smiled,It had been hard but it had been worthwhile.He'd lusted and dreamed,Plotted and schemed.And now he had his very own Rupert Giles.
There once was a girl, name aquatic,Whose behavior was more than erratic;Some guys gloved in blueTurned synapses to gooNow all of her brain waves are static.
Modern Teaching MethodsGiles' bedroom was a bit of a mess, Due to the degree of young Wesley's excess.On the bed, against the door,From behind, on all fours.Giles had been shagged with expert finesse.Worn out, Giles melted into a puddle of goo,As he watched Wes sprawled across the bed, askew.He must remember to write,To the Academy tonight.These new Watcher skills deserved a big thank you.
A strapping young doctor, from money,First boarded in clothes that were funny.He finally appearedSans shirt; Kaylee leered,And all of the fangirls said, "Honey!"
Our captain shuns shipboard romance,Thinks love is too scary a dance;But Saffron knows howTo take hold of his plowAnd steal his willpower. And pants.
Jayne's a merc, works for gold, pesos, lira--Any currency's fine. Also beer. ARetreat to his bunkResults when he's drunkAnd the love of his life is named Vera.
The Reverend Book quotes a lineFrom Armaments 17:9--It is the Lord's willThat thou shalt not killBut shooting at kneecaps is fine.
There once was a man-ape named Jayne,And he was a bit of a pain.But don't tell him that,'Cause he's got a cool hat-And a bullet to put in your brain.
There once was a captain named Mal,And he wasn't much of a pal.A cowboy at heart,He was not very smartAnd awful for shipboard morale.
Well, I don't like you either.- Capt. Mal Reynolds
Xander HarrisThis teen is a real cutieHe is my very favorite ScoobyHe made friends with nerdsWas steered 'round Faith's curvesAnd didn't eat Principal Flutie
For him I don’t care a figCause he still ate the pigTreated his friends very badAnd made Willow really sadHis butt deserves a kick
The CrashSerenity crashed just past noonOn Mr. Un'verse's ion-clouded moon*EMP drainedSome of 'em slain;Wash got speared by a harpoon.*I can't remember if it's a planet or a moon, but let's go with creative license.
Pain Is ScaryIt's rare that Jayne doesn't carry,so he tapes a gun to his chest so hairy.When scolded he ripsthe strip tip to tipand learns from experience: Pain is scary.
I've been fighting this god-bitch named GloryHer history with Dawn's quite the storyShe's beaten me twiceIt wasn't that niceAnd listening to her gloat is so bore-y.
There once was a bueaty so fairWith soft curves and long dark hairWho caught Inara's eye?Why Kaywinnit Lee FryTheir hidden and sweet love affair
There once was a cockpit with ficturesA strange display of odd mixturesButtons, wires - a few lengthy milesComputers, screens, knobs, and dials,And of course Wash's dino action figures
There once was a man called JayneWho enjoyed the inflicting of painHe wore an orange beenieA gift from his mummyVera at his side, salvager's bain