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2nd Annual Whedonverse Limerick Project
by Em Dash (theemdash)
at April 1st, 2006 (05:10 pm)
Tags:

current mood: geeky

Here are this year’s posting rules:

1. Limericks must be related to one of the following Whedonverse creations Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Fray, or Firefly/Serenity. (I am excluding X-Men because they are not Whedon's original characters/universe.)

2. Crossover, Real People: Crossing the lines between the above-mentioned shows is okay, no other crossovers. Limericks using the cast & crew are okay, also. If you write about real people, please be kind. No derogatory or smutty stuff with real people.

3. Smut or Slash: Smut and slash is fine, but please remember that we like Gen limericks, too.

4. Spoiler Warnings: If your limerick includes any spoilers for any episodes, please include a spoiler warning in the subject line. If your limerick is completely spoiler free, feel free to let us know that, too. See submission format.

5. Limericks must be limericks (5 lines) and follow an AABBA rhyme scheme. You do not have to follow proper scansion. (For more information on how to write a limerick, please see this article at eHow.com.)




Submission Format

Each limerick should be posted in a separate comment. If you are submitting an epic (a story told through several limericks), that can be posted in one comment (or in one comment thread).

Each limerick should include the following information in the Subject Line:
Show: BtVS, AtS, Fray, FF
Universe: Crossover, RP (Real Person)
Category: Gen, Smut (het and masturbation falls under Smut), or Slash (we assume slash is probably also smut)
Spoilers: No Spoilers or Spoilers for [insert episode title or season]

Your entry should look like this (limerick by theemdash, won Buffiest Limerick 3rd Place 2004):

Subject: BtVS, Gen, No Spoilers

You may all think I’m a bit loopy
But I’m the biggest Xander groupie
In speedos he’s hot
He’s funny a lot
And he’s cutest when dancing like Snoopy.

All limericks must be posted as replies to this post.




I Win!
Just like last time, there will be voting and awards.

Awards
Awards will be given in the following categories:
Dirtiest Limerick
Slashiest Limerick
Cleaniest Limerick [sic]
Funniest Limerick
Buffiest Limerick
Angeliest Limerick
Firefliest Limerick
Most Interesting Rhyme

More categories will be added as necessary. For example, if there are 6 poems about Xander doing the Snoopy Dance, I might put up voting for Snoopiest Limerick.



Timeline
Limericks should be submitted starting now! Submit your limericks until April 15. Sometime on April 16th, nominations will go up (rules for nominating will be posted then). Nominations will remain open until April 19th. Voting will go up on April 20th and remain open until April 26th. Winners will be posted sometime between April 27th and April 30th.

To recap—
Today: post limericks; limericks are accepted until April 15
Sunday, April 16: Nominate limericks
Thursday, April 20: Vote for limericks
Monday, April 30: See who won


disclaimers:
We don’t own Buffy, Angel, Fray or Firefly, we’re just playing.

Some limericks may deal with sex or same-sex couplings. You've been warned.


Questions? Please direct all questions to this post.

Comments

Page 1 of 2[1][2]
Posted by: Em Dash (theemdash)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2006 12:44 pm (UTC)
FF, Gen, Serenity (movie)
Firefly Dong Ma?

Bottleneck

Look at those Reavers all reaving
And Zoe over there peeving
Hacking them to bits
One got through—oh shit!
Can it be time for us to be leaving?

Posted by: Toddly (sporadic_karma)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2006 08:03 pm (UTC)
FF, Smut, No Spoilers

Kaylee's had nothing to twix her nethers.
She thinks she's found a handsome fellers.
But Simon's an asshat.
She just wants to tap that.
But he's probably off thinking 'bout the weather.

- toddly

Posted by: Em Dash (theemdash)
Posted at: April 4th, 2006 12:32 pm (UTC)
FF, Gen, "The Message"

Written with grass_stained

Enchanting Jayne

Jayne: The Hero of Canton
Always gorramin' and rantin'
He’s got guns to impress
Isn’t much for a dress
But in a hat he's pretty enchantin'.

Posted by: Em Dash (theemdash)
Posted at: April 4th, 2006 01:10 pm (UTC)
BtVS, Gen, Season 7
Buffy/Angel Spike

Avengers Assemble!
The Scoobies had a "guestage" named Andy,
And a vampire briefly known as Randy;
Drama queen teens
Made up their crack team;
No wonder dusting vamps wasn't dandy.

Posted by: Em Dash (theemdash)
Posted at: April 4th, 2006 06:33 pm (UTC)
BtVS, Gen, No Spoilers
Buffy/Angel Love

All About Anya
Always ask Anya, "How's your money?"
She'll never look at you funny.
But to hear her scream
And fall apart at the seams
Just show her a stuffed fluffy bunny.

Posted by: Mer (baby_cthulhu)
Posted at: April 4th, 2006 07:27 pm (UTC)
Buffy/Angel, Gen, Season 7/ Season 5
Underworld

An amulet that he wore
A burden that he bore
He ended up in Wolfram and Hart
where he could not depart
Until he ran into a door

Posted by: Mer (baby_cthulhu)
Posted at: April 5th, 2006 06:16 pm (UTC)
Angel, Gen, Season 2

Pylea was her home
where she was alone
mistaken for a cow
but look at her now
she's been put on the throne

Posted by: Ellie Wilson (elliedragon)
Posted at: April 15th, 2006 05:46 am (UTC)
Re: Angel, Gen, Season 2

Ah, but to ruling she's new
They want her to marry Gru
The night they wed
She's to be dead
Thank goodness for the crew

Posted by: Mer (baby_cthulhu)
Posted at: April 5th, 2006 06:19 pm (UTC)
FF, Gen, Season 1
I'll protect you

Inara liked Mal
but he thought of her as just a pal
she found herself weeping
when she caught Mal sleeping
with another gal

Posted by: VF (vampirefever)
Posted at: April 6th, 2006 04:58 am (UTC)
M/M Angel/Spike
Spangel (saifai)

Angel's name was perfectly fine,
But Spike ignored it time after time.
Peaches, pouf, wanker, git,
Pillock, ponce, nancy, tit.
When all Angel wanted him to say was 'mine'.

Posted by: VF (vampirefever)
Posted at: April 6th, 2006 05:01 am (UTC)
M/M Spike/Giles
Spike Giles (vampirefever)

Insert Title

There was a hunky Watcher named Giles,
Who found dealing with Spike a great trial.
The vamp annoyed him a lot,
But, oh boy, was he hot.
And those eyes, dear lord, how they beguiled.

Spike was a vamp on a mission,
He had a Watcher to beat into submission.
He flirted and teased,
Aggravated and pleased.
Not long now before he had him in position.

Giles was completely confused,
How had this happened? He silently mused.
A fight, a kiss and a touch,
Then a hand on his crotch
Now he lay in bed, happy, sweaty and used.

Spike cuddled the Watcher and smiled,
It had been hard but it had been worthwhile.
He'd lusted and dreamed,
Plotted and schemed.
And now he had his very own Rupert Giles.

Posted by: spuffyduds (spuffyduds)
Posted at: April 6th, 2006 12:49 pm (UTC)
River; Firefly gen, vague spoilers

There once was a girl, name aquatic,
Whose behavior was more than erratic;
Some guys gloved in blue
Turned synapses to goo
Now all of her brain waves are static.

Posted by: VF (vampirefever)
Posted at: April 6th, 2006 02:57 pm (UTC)
M/M Giles/Wes
Giles Wes (bouncymonkey)

Modern Teaching Methods

Giles' bedroom was a bit of a mess,
Due to the degree of young Wesley's excess.
On the bed, against the door,
From behind, on all fours.
Giles had been shagged with expert finesse.

Worn out, Giles melted into a puddle of goo,
As he watched Wes sprawled across the bed, askew.
He must remember to write,
To the Academy tonight.
These new Watcher skills deserved a big thank you.

Posted by: spuffyduds (spuffyduds)
Posted at: April 6th, 2006 03:07 pm (UTC)
Firefly, Gen, no spoilers: Simon

A strapping young doctor, from money,
First boarded in clothes that were funny.
He finally appeared
Sans shirt; Kaylee leered,
And all of the fangirls said, "Honey!"

Posted by: spuffyduds (spuffyduds)
Posted at: April 6th, 2006 03:08 pm (UTC)
Firefly, gen, vague spoilers: Mal

Our captain shuns shipboard romance,
Thinks love is too scary a dance;
But Saffron knows how
To take hold of his plow
And steal his willpower. And pants.

Posted by: spuffyduds (spuffyduds)
Posted at: April 6th, 2006 05:24 pm (UTC)
Firefly, gen, no spoilers: Jayne

Jayne's a merc, works for gold, pesos, lira--
Any currency's fine. Also beer. A
Retreat to his bunk
Results when he's drunk
And the love of his life is named Vera.

Posted by: spuffyduds (spuffyduds)
Posted at: April 7th, 2006 01:15 pm (UTC)
Firefly, gen, vague spoilers: Book

The Reverend Book quotes a line
From Armaments 17:9--
It is the Lord's will
That thou shalt not kill
But shooting at kneecaps is fine.

Posted by: Humble Gerbil (harmonyangel)
Posted at: April 9th, 2006 07:55 pm (UTC)
FF, Gen, "The Message
Multi Dick and Jayne

There once was a man-ape named Jayne,
And he was a bit of a pain.
But don't tell him that,
'Cause he's got a cool hat-
And a bullet to put in your brain.

Posted by: Humble Gerbil (harmonyangel)
Posted at: April 9th, 2006 07:56 pm (UTC)
FF, Gen, No Spoilers
Firefly Mal Drag

There once was a captain named Mal,
And he wasn't much of a pal.
A cowboy at heart,
He was not very smart
And awful for shipboard morale.

Posted by: ((Anonymous))
Posted at: April 10th, 2006 01:32 am (UTC)
Re: FF, Gen, No Spoilers

Well, I don't like you either.

- Capt. Mal Reynolds

Posted by: Em Dash (theemdash)
Posted at: April 10th, 2006 12:13 pm (UTC)
Re: FF, Gen, No Spoilers

Posted by: Jen the Fangirl (fangirljen)
Posted at: April 14th, 2006 03:41 pm (UTC)
Re: FF, Gen, No Spoilers

Posted by: Ser Lev Arris, FEsq. (levarris)
Posted at: April 17th, 2006 04:08 pm (UTC)
Re: FF, Gen, No Spoilers

Posted by: Humble Gerbil (harmonyangel)
Posted at: April 18th, 2006 03:03 am (UTC)
Re: FF, Gen, No Spoilers

Posted by: Em Dash (theemdash)
Posted at: April 10th, 2006 01:36 pm (UTC)
BtVS, Gen, No Spoilers
Buffy/Angel Xander

Xander Harris

This teen is a real cutie
He is my very favorite Scooby
He made friends with nerds
Was steered 'round Faith's curves
And didn't eat Principal Flutie

Posted by: Apple Slut (roadrunner1896)
Posted at: April 11th, 2006 09:11 am (UTC)
Re: BtVS, Gen, The Pack
madness

For him I don’t care a fig
Cause he still ate the pig
Treated his friends very bad
And made Willow really sad
His butt deserves a kick

Posted by: Em Dash (theemdash)
Posted at: April 10th, 2006 01:47 pm (UTC)
FF, Gen, Serenity (movie)
Firefly Still Flying

The Crash
Serenity crashed just past noon
On Mr. Un'verse's ion-clouded moon*
EMP drained
Some of 'em slain;
Wash got speared by a harpoon.

*I can't remember if it's a planet or a moon, but let's go with creative license.

Posted by: Em Dash (theemdash)
Posted at: April 10th, 2006 07:38 pm (UTC)
FF, Gen, "Jaynestown"
Firefly Jayne

Pain Is Scary
It's rare that Jayne doesn't carry,
so he tapes a gun to his chest so hairy.
When scolded he rips
the strip tip to tip
and learns from experience: Pain is scary.

Posted by: Em Dash (theemdash)
Posted at: April 10th, 2006 07:42 pm (UTC)
BtVS, Gen, Season 5
Buffy/Angel Cookie

I've been fighting this god-bitch named Glory
Her history with Dawn's quite the story
She's beaten me twice
It wasn't that nice
And listening to her gloat is so bore-y.

Posted by: Ellie Wilson (elliedragon)
Posted at: April 11th, 2006 04:46 pm (UTC)
FF, Firefly
Ellie

There once was a bueaty so fair
With soft curves and long dark hair
Who caught Inara's eye?
Why Kaywinnit Lee Fry
Their hidden and sweet love affair

Posted by: Ellie Wilson (elliedragon)
Posted at: April 11th, 2006 04:52 pm (UTC)
Firefly, Gen?

There once was a cockpit with fictures
A strange display of odd mixtures
Buttons, wires - a few lengthy miles
Computers, screens, knobs, and dials,
And of course Wash's dino action figures

Posted by: ((Anonymous))
Posted at: April 17th, 2006 04:10 pm (UTC)
Re: Firefly, Gen?

fixtures...?

Posted by: Ellie Wilson (elliedragon)
Posted at: April 18th, 2006 08:12 pm (UTC)
Re: Firefly, Gen?

Posted by: Ellie Wilson (elliedragon)
Posted at: April 11th, 2006 04:54 pm (UTC)
Firefly, Gen

There once was a man called Jayne
Who enjoyed the inflicting of pain
He wore an orange beenie
A gift from his mummy
Vera at his side, salvager's bain

51 Read Comments
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